These past nine days in Halifax has been unreal and overwhelming. That’s really the only two words that encompass and describe all that I’ve felt and am feeling. Unreal, because things actually happened. I hopped on a plane and flew 4000+kms to see someone I’ve only met once two months ago. After all the texts, sexts, messages, pictures and videos we’ve exchanged we were finally talking and seeing each other in person. I could touch her, feel her breath on my skin, kiss her, caress her, whisper in her ears and tell her how much I love her.
And all of that is overwhelming. I have not spent more than 10 days with her but I already love her. How do I know that for sure? How do I know what I’m feeling if I can’t even believe this is all happening? What are all these feelings that have suddenly surfaced? The last time I was in love was four years ago; how will I know what it’s like to be in love again? This whole time I was looking for answers for my own feelings. What am I feeling? What am I doing on the East Coast? What is it like to realize these feelings that we’ve confessed over text in person?
I felt numb. I didn’t know what to feel or what to do. Our time together has been so perfect it’s like a capsule of happiness. Perhaps that’s the magic of a long-distance relationship: you treasure every moment you have together because you know you’re never in the same place for long (at least for the near foreseeable future). You know you’re both returning to your own realities once the time is up; you’re back in your own world, with each other only skimming the surface of your bubble of your everyday life.
But what I realized as the plane took off from the tarmac in Halifax was that amidst the overwhelming sense of surreality, I did fall in love. The whole experience was unconventional and dumbfounding, but it was love. And that’s the only thing that matters.