Privilege Check-Mate

I’ll admit that Philippines was never on my list of countries to visit or places to travel to, but work was calling and I rarely turn down an expense-paid trip to go somewhere I’ve never been. The sights of the still-developing country was eye-opening. The streets were dirty, building covered in black exhaust dust from all sorts of vehicles, and the traffic was unmanageable. A little circle around the block could take up to 10 minutes to complete, and to go anywhere outside of a 20-min walking distance it’s safest to give yourself an hour for transport.

Parts of the major city were desolate and filled with dwellers on the side of the road in their make-shift shacks. Children run around on the sidewalk without shoes on, a girl showers naked atop a table from a bucket her mom is holding over her head; another kid sits on the ground playing with his friends completely undressed. In another corner of the city, a girl not older than 4 or 5 extends her arm and stretches her fingers out to ask for money while her mom begs in front of a convenience store that is steps away from a dance studio. Other kids who are older carry trays of snacks and work the bars at night trying to make sales. It was heart-breaking. It was hard seeing how poverty was so close and the divide so wide. I had not realized before this visit that this was the state of the country.

At many of the Q&A’s after our shows we could see the eagerness in the students’ eyes. Their aptitude and work ethic is truly beyond what I was used to seeing in North America. It seems like they work extra hard and treasure whatever opportunity they get because they know that to be able to dance and study it is precious. All of our studio showings have been bursting at the seams because people want to learn. They have the interest but not the means (when you compare on an international level), so when opportunity presents itself they grab and hold on to it.

Philippines is a country and a visit I won’t soon forget. Those images of struggle and despair have forever imprinted in my mind. I will carry them with me wherever I go and use them as reminders how good I have it. And that, in itself, is yet another privilege.

Jet-setter

I did a little math today and tallied that I have been on 12 flights in the last four months. There are two more that I’m taking in the next four days. It has been a crazy whirlwind of a fall, and I count myself lucky to have been able to go to cities I’ve never visited in Canada.

I had been touring with a dance show since mid-September, stopping in places like Vernon, Salt Spring Island, Calgary, Whitehorse, Burlington, Kingston, Charlottetown, Fredericton, and Halifax. On top of that I also visited my friends in Chicago and St. John’s. Now I’m sitting in my cousin’s apartment in Missisauga, ON, writing this. That’s 12 cities in the last 80 days. I must be setting a new record!

I have met awesome local people, taken in beautiful scenery, and seen the inner workings of different theatre spaces. I am counting my blessings and am thankful for all the opportunities that were presented to me!

Itchy Feet

Who wants to go dancing!? I’m always looking for people to go dancing with… I love it and I miss it! Can’t wait to get back on the floor again and stir up a storm! I was listening to some beats today and realized that there are a handful of songs written about dancing that I’m quite fond of. So here’s a list, in no particular order:

1. Dancing On My Own – Robyn

2. Take Me On the Floor – The Veronicas 

3. I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Whitney Houston

4. Shut Up and Dance – Walk the Moon

5. Twist and Shout – The Beatles

6. Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

7.  一個人跳舞 – 張惠妹

8. Dance With Me – Uh Huh Her

I Follow Rivers

Have you seen Blue is the Warmest Colour? That lesbian movie that came out last year with a bit of controversy regarding its lengthy and graphic sex scenes? If you haven’t, you should. (Obviously NOT for the graphic sex scenes… though that’s always a bonus!)

What struck me most from the movie is when Adele dances to Lykke Li’s I Follow Rivers (probably the Magician remix version though). I never thought a simple dance scene could convey so much! It was probably the most brilliant use of a scene I have ever realized/ come across so far, mostly because I didn’t realize before how freeing an experience dance is until I’ve starting going out to dance.

See, I love dancing. I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it. I’m not sure why I love it so much… it’s just another way I could express myself, I suppose. So when that scene came up in the movie, I couldn’t help but be bewildered by her freedom of expression and how, through dance, we can see Adele gain a sense of “self”. In that moment she “comes to” and embraces who she is. She finally lets go of everything and accepts the reality she’s in – kind of like the first time I went to pride by myself.

It was the summer of 2010, and I had just started to take my interest in girls seriously. For the first time in my life I started to consider the possibility that I would like to have relationships with women instead of men. I was extremely conflicted, having come from a religious background. I questioned my faith, I questioned my self; and I questioned my belief in my faith. Who I wanted to be and who I should be according to the words of Jesus Christ was doing a number on my brain. I didn’t know how to live both lives because they didn’t fit together.

That August came and I was determined to go to pride. I made up an excuse so I could stay at a friend’s during the whole festivity. It was the single most exhilarating and freeing experience I have ever had in the 26 years I’ve lived. I didn’t want to go home at the end of the day, and I certainly didn’t want the high to end. That was the day I vowed to be free: I wished I could live my life the way I wanted to, without having to hide my desires for women and who I am.

So I did. I, of course, not unlike some closet-dwellers, had to come to terms with certain things (mostly religious and family-related) before I could accept myself, but I’ve never felt better or more confident in myself because of who I am and who I’ve become since Vancouver Pride 2010.

Embrace your freedom, people!