Arguably this isn’t about winning, but tonight – like many other nights – I can’t stop thinking about you. I waited the whole night for you to maybe show up; a “surprise!” that I know is beyond far-fetched. But still. Amidst the sea of babely eye candies at the club, you’re still the one I want to see most.
If you were waiting for a secondary response from me, this is it. I miss you.
Wish you were here – that was the thought that had started it all. That night when the five of us huddled close together for warmth on a 3’wide dock under a blanket of magical starscapes and looked for shooting stars on the last night of our camping trip, you were the one I was thinking about; the one I wanted to spend more time with; the one I couldn’t get out of my head.
I’ve never wished upon a shooting star. They go by too fast for me to even start a thought, let alone finish one. My mind was filled with thoughts of you as I listened to the conversation and the quiet chirping of the birds in the grass just a few feet away from us. Serenity overwhelmed the lake and my senses. For once I have no work, no unfinished business or errands I should be running during my free time, or people to be responsible for and things to take care of. Time, it seemed like, was on my side for the first time in my life. I was all by myself, and I was whole. I was alone but I wasn’t lonely. Friends surrounded me and reminded me how lucky I am to be living a life I can call mine.
I kept replaying the hours-long exchange we had nights before, not exactly sure what to make of it. My feelings for you took me by surprise and it was driving me crazy – you were driving me crazy.
The starry sky was nothing short of ethereal, and so was the thought that we’d be together in the not-so-distant future. I hope the shooting stars heard my wishes.
how do i tell you
when the beast dances with the beauty
it’s your hand i want to hold
how do i tell you
when i’m gazing at the stars
you’re the magic I seek
how do i tell you
when we’re both busy with work
you’re what occupies my thoughts
how do i tell you
when we’re next to each other
i want to take you with me and run
how do i tell you
when things are awkward
we should kiss it all away
how do i tell you
when you want to dial it back
i am already knee-deep in trouble
how do i tell you
when i say we can be friends
I secretly wish we’d be more
how do i tell you
when i am pulling your leg
the joke is really on me
there’s a kind of sadness tonight. Not sure if it’s from drinking two cans of beer, or that it’s comforting to listen to a room full of people connecting and having fun while sitting in front of the fireplace. It’s been exactly a week since I’ve been in Tofino, but two months is already starting to feel really short. I mean, it’s probably not enough time to do what I can came here to do… which I’m not sure what it is any more.
See, there’s a wonderful woman in Tofino on whom I have a crush. There was an awkwardness when I first arrived. I think we were both figuring out how to be around each other at first, but now we’re both more comfortable… or that we’re picking up on that chemistry we had when I first visited in September. But I’m trying not to dwell. She fits into the type of people I always fall for: unavailable and always on-the-go. You want who you can’t have, right? I’m trying to move on knowing that probably nothing good will come. I’m trying to not have any expectations or hope for a greater outcome, but that doesn’t mean I can get her out of my head… so here’s to trying.
Where's My Dime? 