Farewell My Concubine, Hello Emotional Rollercoaster

Tuesday morning’s screening of Farewell My Concubine was overall a very emotional ordeal for me. The heart-wrenching disciplining scenes of the children were not only stirring up sympathy, they also reminded me of my childhood in Taiwan. My childhood in the capital city, Taipei, meant that competition was fierce. Everyone was pushed by the teachers, parents, and peer-pressure to perform at nothing less than our best at school. If we did not meet expectations, we are almost guaranteed a punishment of some sort -and not only from our parents, but our teachers as well.

See, Taiwan’s education (and much of how the society functions, really) is based on a negation system. Using punishment to deter us from making mistakes or falling short of requirements isn’t uncommon at all. In fact, that is how we learned to thrive in the competitive environment. You are to be nothing but the best (or at least the top three). We count marks on our exams by subtracting the number of wrongs from the would-be perfect score, which I thought was always faster than adding all the rights together, which the teachers here do. So while it was warming to see the kids deal with their unreasonable training and punishment with humour, the odd familiarity also brought forward heart-ache for their loss of innocence and an imposed maturation (but perhaps only in determination and discipline).

Another big reason that I was totally absorbed and invested emotionally in the film was that my dad was a performer of Peking Opera. Or at least I’ve seen pictures of him doing so. I have never actually heard him talk about it -it was in his college days, and I didn’t find out until we were sorting through pictures to put in his memorial slideshow. So for a good chunk of the film when Deiyi and Xiaolou were performing, I was picturing how my dad would’ve looked and sounded like if he was on stage. It didn’t help that I was bawling my eyes out at my missed chance to discuss with him -and especially him!- about this interesting and long-standing art of our culture. Then I shed some more tears for missing him dearly.

It’s going to be hard for me to detach myself from this film emotionally and talk about it logically… especially with a familiarity and a certain sympathy to the two main characters’ childhoods, I’m having a hard time seeing this as a “modern queer” film.

Another Kind of “Queer”

Somehow the topics of a couple of the courses I’m taking this semester matched nicely. Besides GSWS, I’m also taking FPA 311, which has different topics each semester depending on who the instructor is. I was excited to hear Christine Stoddard is back as a sessional and is lecturing on “Feeling Queer: Affect and Contemporary Culture”. I had her as an instructor for FPA 111, which is the equivalent of introduction to art history. It was one of the most memorable classes, as it was the first time I was introduced to many big artist names which became familiar throughout the years at art school.

So after having gone to GSWS on Tuesday, I went to FPA311 with a predetermined definition of “queer” in my head… But that only confused things more. In 311, the term “queer” is not limited to just describing sexual orientation. It encompasses anything that means “odd”, “off”, or “strange”. It is due to this definition that so many people rejects the term. “Queer” isn’t “abnormal” (I use these terms loosely because I believe they are objective. In this case, “normal” means “accepted social norms”). So this label shouldn’t be used to describe anyone, no matter their orientation, because it could be interpreted as derogatory and demeaning.

But in the contemporary sense, the term expands to cover more grounds. And this is where I get tripped up… what is queer contemporary art? Why? How does it make us feel? That is what FPA311 is about. We’ll continue to examine and discuss this feeling of queer and the “affect” it brings… So I better screw my head on straight, and make sure I don’t confuse myself in these two classes!

Queer Cinema

I was an hour late to my very early class on the first day of classes. The class, GSWS (Gender Studies and Women Studies) 431: Local Sex on Global Screen, started at 8:30am. It is a class where we’ll be examining “the globalization of sexual cultures and the emergence of queer cinema and screen culture outside of North America and Europe. We will analyze the impact of globalization on local expression of sexual practice and gender identity. In turn, we will also explore the various ways in which these mediatized expressions reframe our understanding of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues from postcolonial, transcultural, and comparative perspectives.” (from the syllabus)

Sounds intriguing, right? As an introduction, the instructor got us thinking and writing down our answers for “what is queer cinema?”. I think to define that we have to first define the term “queer”. What is queer? What does it mean? Is it just an umbrella term for anyone who identifies as anything other than heterosexuals? Or is it more generic, used to mean “odd”,  “off”, or “strange”? For the purposes of this class, I think it is safe to say that “queer” is anything outside the gender binary norms. So, any films presenting ideas and notions outside the gender binary norms would be deemed as “queer cinema”.

I see it as a genre rather than a standalone style of filmmaking. It’s sort of like what my friend says about gay marriage. It’s what it is – marriage, and simply that! It’s a union between two people who happen to be of the same sex. We don’t take a gay shower, eat our gay breakfast, put on our gay clothes and go to our gay jobs! So why the term “gay marriage”!? (Well, I have an inkling… there’s this thing called the constitution. And in the constitution it states that a marriage is a union between two persons of the opposite sex. So “gay” was added in front of marriage to help the general public distinguish what was in question). Same could be applied to “queer cinema” in my opinion. It is just cinema, like any other style, genre, or conventions of filmmaking. It may contain themes, ideas, issues concerning or pertaining to the interest of the queer community, and could be made for or by people who identifies as queer. So I say “queer cinema” is a genre, such as western, horror, slapstick, etc.